When I add a spoon of honey to my tea, I give thanks to a dozen bees for the work of their whole lives……Honeyeaters know that to have  a joyful heart one must live life like the bees, sipping the sweet nectar from each moment as it blooms.

-Ingrid Goff-Maidoff

Have you ever seen a child asking for ways to be happy and searching for some peace? Maybe not, so why they are not concerned about the most important things labelled as the essence of every human goal and achievement? Probably because they already have it or their lack of focused concern for attaining these is the key to the solace they have.

As we grow up we become occupied and obsessed with the materialistic world around us. The state of bliss, the sheer happiness and peace innate to us is lost and forgotten. The never ending search begins and we desperately try everything possible in our power and not to forget we take every advice.

During this testing pandemic time, the human strength is tested at its best. The acceptance, cooperativeness, resilience, endurance, courage, planning, acceptance, sense of responsibility, patience and other such qualities are shaken to the core. There are numerous calls made to the mental health professionals to seek help in overcoming the lingering anxiety and depression. The elevated levels of hopelessness are giving way to the grief. People are losing their loved ones. They are facing the worst and the most frightening era of human race is leaving them broken and meaningless. Those who are facing the situation head-on are exhausted after a tedious resistance put up by them. The ones who are staying at home and managed to be safe are also losing sanctity and are haunted by feelings of insecurity and uncertainty. Perhaps, this is the reason that every newspaper, media blog, words of spiritual leaders, podcasts of mental health professionals are talking about ways to be calm, what is happiness, how to achieve it, how to find peace and the like.

Reading and listening to all this creates a sense of motivation which gradually fades away leaving us back in the same state from where we started. There could be various reasons for this but, one of them is that we are trying to follow the footsteps taken by the writers or speakers; we are attempting to experience what they had felt by doing the things mentioned by them. Simply put, we start expecting relief from these sources and expectations change the purity of devotion we should have to reach to the desired state.

What we can do? There is no right or wrong answer to this question, it is just a riddle we have developed over the years and now is the time to untangle the coiled chaos and settle with the best. Happiness is a state of mind not amalgamated by any negative thought or concern about past and future. Happiness lies in the moment we are in and it has different meaning for every one of us. For some it could be sitting by the window seat in a train journey, for some having a sip of tea in the morning while they are sitting in the balcony surrounded with greenery, for some it could be talking to their friend, to others it could be cooking a meal, it could be watching your favourite T.V. show when you are engrossed in it, it could be singing in your coarse voice a rhapsody without realising who is listening it, it could be sketching or doodling, it could be dancing for a minute or two, watering the plants, reading one page of a book, shopping for the groceries or your favourite dress, talking to your neighbour through the window or balcony, going for a walk, gym, sitting in the park, it could be driving, it could be organising your wardrobe, listening to music, playing with kids and might even doing your office job. The array of such moments is expandable and flexible.

Every waking hour of a human life is filled with a string of activities performed by us. Some of these activities make us forget the burden we carry from our past and the worries we create for our future. These are the times when we are frozen in the moment so engrossed that we don’t even regret if it is extended to a few more minutes. Not to dismiss the fact that we feel intrinsically motivated for the rest of the day after having such moments. Is it not right to say that this is the happiness we all are looking for is available to us in brief time slots and we are overlooking them?

As far as we try to find peace we say that the human misery makes us restless. These are tough times and it is not possible to relax and stay calm. Do we realise that having abundance of joy and happiness undermines their value? Is it not justified to have sorrow and suffering along the way to keep on appraising the alternates?

Indeed it is important to have both sides of the coin tossed and thrown to us at regular intervals of time to keep our lives balanced and complete. The mere acceptance of this coexistence of pain and pleasure, sadness and happiness, sorrow and joy can make us more peaceful. It can reduce our complaints and dissatisfaction. It can help us to see the wider and more realistic perspective of existence.

Every living being can start cherishing the little moments of bliss they receive while doing something in their day and if they can see the complete circle of life knitted with all kind of states ranging from positives and negatives. No segregation of favorable circumstances and unfavorable circumstances can make us more resilient and hence more happy and at peace. Start cherishing more such engrossing moments without guilt and don’t be embarrassed of being depressed, just as children can create their own happiness and finds their own peace without any external guidance.

Feeding your Demons

Flowers too have to endure the pollution and decay of the world of nature, yet they call forth images of peace and tranquility. It is their nature.

We are also like flowers, we are expected to live in our natural state of peace and spread our fragrance all around. 

-Brahma Kumaris

Nishita had a habit of bringing fresh veggies every evening while returning back from her office. This was just another day of the same routine; she purchased some munching snacks and started towards her apartment on foot. All her grocery bags were hanging down her fingers and she was dwindling down the incidents of the day at office. Out of nowhere she felt some sort of animal grabbed one packet of bread from her hand and ran past with speed. She could not see what it was and concluded that it might be some hungry street dog. As she continued to walk towards her home just a little far the same thing happened again and this time it was the biscuits which were taken with the same fast speed. A benevolent and compassionate Nishita giggled thinking about the fun this creatures was trying to have.

Soon she reached near her home and then felt that someone was following her. She took alternate turn to be cautious and her persecutor went away. The evening passed and it was the next morning. While Nishita was returning from her office today she thought of grabbing a few extra eatables and look out for this hungry animal to feed it. She purchased some biscuit packets and asked a few vendors in the market whereabouts of this creature. No one reported knowing such creature. Some people mentioned that they had experienced such food seizing incidents. It might be possible that some animal has reproduced in the nearby area and is in the need for food for its young ones. With no success in locating the being, Nishita started returning to her home when suddenly something snatched a bag of groceries from her hand. She felt excited and thought of taking more things next day so that she can create high changes of getting a look at this mysterious creature. She again sensed being followed till the last turn to her home.

When she went inside the apartment building exhausted and in a hurry she collided with her next door neighbor Sumit. He reported about the strange disappearances of people reported by the local authorities in the nearby area since last week. He also mentioned that all of them have mentioned something related to a strange creature to their family members before they went missing unexpectedly. Nishita felt a shiver of terror went down her spine. She excused herself and locked her main door. She was breathless and panting. Terrified with the updates she received the other day; she refused to let herself move out next morning. When she prepared her morning coffee she decided to sit in the balcony and look around to divert her thoughts. She was able to see a big mansion in front which was decorated for an upcoming wedding function. Large number of guests could be seen engaged in various activities. During this cursory look she froze when she saw a strange looking four legged animal with light brown skin, no fur, strong and sharp claws, long and pointed antelopes. It was about the size of a huge dog and was wandering around the house while sticking near the boundary walls. Suddenly a male came out of the house main entrance and he was grabbed by this animal so swiftly that hardly anyone would have noticed the incident. She contemplated over calling the police but then decided to let the people in the wedding function to make a missing report or search for this man. She was sure that it would make no sense for others if she will try to explain what she just witnessed.

She consistently kept close watch over the house and the creature. It kept on coming back and was taking someone along. Nishita was surprised as no one was realizing the absence of people around them and concluded that this could be due to the exponentially large number of people gathered in this house. In the evening when she was still busy with her scrutiny she saw a young boy was ready to come out of the house for some work and the creature was hiding itself adjacent to the main gate once again. Nishita got frightened but her wits got over and she decided to do something to save this young boy. As she was thinking about her course of action a buzzing noise of her morning alarm woke her up from her dream.

Analysis of the dream:

The animal represents the unnecessary and irrelevant anxiety we bring from the places outside our home such as office, meeting with stubborn relatives, traffic snarls, bills and deadlines, noisy neighbors. We unknowingly start feeding to some of them initially outside and then bring them along to our home where we are supposed to wind down and relax. These anxieties and worries grow and multiply themselves into demonic forms if they are not addressed. Subtle chances in our behavior caused by them are not even noticed and gradually we start getting annoyed, curt and toxic to others. People around us start leaving us but we don’t realize this decline in our social support because we are always focused upon the fictional quantity of network we have in our mind. We are taken aback and start panicking when our most precious ones start leaving us or when we have withdrawn ourselves from them because they were constantly pointing us out about our flaws. We don’t understand the genuine concern they have and thus, create a lonely world for us. This triggers the never ending vicious cycle of mental problems such as depression and existential anxieties.

When you are afraid of something it means that you admit its possibility and thus strengthen its hand. It’s a sub-consistent consent. Fear can be overcome in many ways.

The ways of courage, faith, knowledge are some of them. Fear is slavery, work is liberty, courage is victory.

__ The Mother

Shreya and friends Anuj, Krishna, Pawan and Madhu planned a trip to explore the areas of central India. These hodophiles in their late twenties often felt a strong impulse or longing to travel, thus they were able to find an escape from their busy city life of Delhi. It was an unwitting attempt to ease out the sense of restlessness and unsettledness intermittently doned by their MNC jobs. This time the group was enthusiastic to scout the unconventional and untouched regions of Chambal. They were drawn towards this area as it was founded by the famous ‘Bandit Queen’, Phoolan Devi, once infested by such people the area has a rich, niche history unlike any other tourist destination. All of them agreed to take an overnight train to Shivpuri and then reach to the final destination by road.

They board the train from Nizammudin on Friday night and started their journey. After having small meal they wished each other goodnight and went to their births to catch on some sleep as this was their only chance to get refreshed to rejoice the trip ahead. At dawn they woke up by sound of chirping birds and a subtle commotion expected at a small town railway station. They peered out of the window to check out where they were but could not trace the name of the station. The view of the area was astonishing though, it was not a huge platform. Lured with the scenic beauty of the place they came out on the platform to have morning tea with this mesmerizing trance. They had their tea at a stall just a few feet away from the platform from where the train was within reach in case it starts to depart. As they finished and turned towards the tracks to go back to their coach, they were taken aback by the absence of their train. They rushed to the platform to confirm their doubts. They traced a railway guard and asked him about the whereabouts of their suddenly missing train. He reported that it has departed a few minutes earlier and some other passengers missed it. The next spontaneous question was to inquire about when is the next train due to their destination, to this the guard pointed towards the inquiry window. They rushed to it and faced a queue of other passengers with same queries. A list of the timings of other trains due to Shivpuri station was handed to them.

It was unanimously decided that they will eat something first and then will attentively wait for the very next train due in two hours. Some more passengers could be traced at the platform just like them waiting for their trains. The food ordered by them at a small eatery just outside the station as they could keep a track of the trains arriving and departing form the only platform through the demolished wall of the station. After having delicious food they kept on waiting and finally a train arrived, it was a short train with five coaches. They tried boarding it but could not due to one or the other reason despite their relentless efforts. At last they gave up, considering that it will be a short break for the next train about to come within an hour. As the train started moving slowly before speeding up, one of them realized that the name of the station was nowhere in the sight. Additionally they were surprised to see that as the train kept on moving forward it vanished altogether suddenly at a distance of five to six feet from the end of the platform.

Then the never ending loop of trains arriving and departing started. They were surprised that each train was of a different kind, some were the small toy trains with narrow coaches others were like open roof buses. Each of them tried but could not board the train as it was either too much crowded or it was supposed to reach some other destinations. As the time passed it was dusk and it was getting almost dark as the sun was setting. Repetitive failures in their attempts had drained them and they gave up the pretence of trying again. The need for dinner was felt and it was taken from the same eatery as in the morning. Exhausted and confused they slept somehow in a corner of the only verandah at the station. Several passengers did the same. In the morning as they woke up everyone was desperate to leave the place. They tried interacting with people around them but none of them seem to be listening and thus, no one replied. Hunger was the only thing they felt and it forced them to move out of the station and yet no one was able to understand this. During the lunch everyone was unusually quite. All of them were trying to wrap their mind around the incidents happening around them. In the evening, Anuj realized that some of the passengers were not present anymore and they had to go to Shivpuri by the same train they came. While having dinner Pawan realized that their watches were not working and their phones were long out of network and switched off. Later, he realized that they are just eating the food and could relish its taste but the reason of their constant hunger was that nothing was real, it was some sort of hallucination in which all of them were trapped. This realization made it clear that something is wrong with this place and it is of utmost importance to find out what it is in order to go out of here. One of them tried in vain to buy tickets to Shivpuri again if that could create some hope to board the train. The strange person at the ticket counter always refused to provide the ticket to the destination they were asking for.

The next day they were attentive and observant. Three things were clear to them by the end of the day. First they cannot board any train here due to some reason. Second some trains were just mysteriously disappearing at the edge of this unnamed platform. At last, a few trains were appearing normal and they appeared to be moving slowly and then speeding up to get out of sight through a fog as if they were actually going to their destinations. The hunger, bewilderment and the feeling of enmeshed in a nightmare was taking a toll on their mind. It was the midnight after the third day of their arrival that Madhu noticed that some of the passengers were missing as they were able to board the train which appeared to pass as a normal train unlike the mysterious trains they saw. She was curious to know that why these trains kept arriving daily though only once or twice and how these people were able to board them unlike them.

They all started to succumb to the fear, desolation, hopelessness and insecurity. The happiness felt at the initial sight of the place was replaced by looming gloom and despair. Sitting quietly they were all trying to sum up some things while reminiscing their friendship. All of them were natives of Bhopal and were working in the same field. They all planned many trips together whenever they got a break from job but none of them actually planned a trip back to their home. Surprisingly while discussing about it it was revealed that they had strained relationship with their family members and always avoided communication with them. There were arguments, dissatisfaction, grudges and complaints from both sides and hence, everyone of them started finding solace in the fast paced city life of Delhi. It was about seven to eight years since their last visit to their home. All of them kept on thinking about their families that night and drifted to sleep. Shreya kept on thinking about her parents and her brother with whom she was not in touch for years. Tears of remembrance flooded her eyes with fond memories of childhood and how her mother constantly tried to reconcile with her in vain. She felt guilty of keeping them at bay just because of a bad argument they had over sending her to a big city like Delhi all alone for a job. She fled from home next morning leaving a letter explaining her dreams. She sobbed while remembering about the call from her brother about the heart attack of her father after receiving her letter, yet she didn’t return adamantly expecting them to keep her back at Bhopal. The night passed and at the dawn all she could think of was to just get a chance to meet her family once again. She no longer wanted to continue the trip and longed for just one visit to Bhopal.

Surprisingly there was an announcement for the arrival of a train going to Bhopal within ten minutes, she woke up everyone and shared the information. The impatient wait got soon over with the rolling sound of railway carriage. The group was elated to see the train and now the question was whether they can board it or not. The questions got answered as the passengers onboard appeared realistic and welcoming as if they are inviting them to board the train and are demanding to know what were they doing by staring blankly lost in a dream at the locomotive. The shrill whistling of the train got them moving and they all boarded the train and took seats.

The wheels were rattling over the railway tracks and drifting slowly. This time all of them asked together in unison where you wanted to go before the train arrived, and to their disbelief they blurted “BHOPAL”. There were sounds of cheer and laughter and Shreya voiced her thoughts “We all escaped our family and relationships to become travelers. We thought the more you travel, the less scary the big bad world seems. We think we are courageous to explore and examine the unknown but, we forget to show the love for home, the place where we have identity, where we are loved, forgiven, strengthened and remembered as we are. We keep on finding alternate ways to cover our fear of the world instead of searching for the much required courage, intelligence and hardiness offered by our roots. This incident made us understand that while we were lost in finding the peace in the remote corners of the world entranced by the beauty of these places, the fear of unknown is always lost at home.”